Opus 165 - Frustration

Many of you know that I've been applying for jobs for awhile now. The only reasons we have survived financially since I stopped teaching are AFLAC and our tax return. That money runs out at the end of this month (that would be 9 more days). We knew this day was coming so I started applying for non-teaching jobs in October. Obviously, since I'm not working, that hasn't worked out. So we decided I should teach next year. Since we made that decision only two jobs have opened in Utah County. I applied for and did not get those jobs. I also applied for a job at my old middle school in Indiana, but didn't get that one either. (It was technically a choral position, but with two general music classes and a band class as well.) The Indiana job would have been the best for us since the cost of living is so much less - add that up with the pay and Jason would have been able to stay home and finish school while I taught. But that didn't happen. It's so frustrating. I'm a good teacher, but I can't find a job. There aren't any and the few that are around don't want me.

Now I don't know what to do. Our money is about to run out and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do. I'm hopefully going to start working at Nu Skin through a temp agency at the beginning of June. That won't pay all of the bills and I'll never see Jason (he'll work 7-3:30 and I'll work 3:30-midnight). We'll need someone to be with the kids for about an hour while I go to work and Jason comes home. I really worry about how we'll survive that. And I don't see any end in sight - we'd do that forever, not be able to pay the bills, and never pay off any debt.

Life isn't looking so bright and cheery at the moment.