Opus 183 - Double Talk

I've really enjoyed reading this Moms of Multiples blog. The post I read today was entitled "My Version of Normal." Reading it got me thinking about my own version of normal.

People are always asking me how I do it (which, incidentally is the title of that blog) and I never really know what to say. I mean, I've expressed before that parenting twins can be quite difficult, stressful, etc., but at the same time I don't know any different. This is "normal" for me. Sometimes I get little glimpses of what it would be like to have one baby and I think, "Wow, this is so easy!" Of course, if I'd never experienced twins I probably would be thinking having one baby was hard just like most other moms out there because I wouldn't know any different. In that way it truly is a blessing to have twins first because I haven't experienced taking care of one baby. Not that it makes the actual caring for twins any easier, but at least I'm not constantly comparing it to how things were with one baby.

Soap Box:
By the way, speaking of that, I have to say that one of my pet peaves is a parent of several singletons trying to tell me that somehow, some way, twins are easier than two singletons close together. The conversation usually starts with me telling someone about a particular difficulty I'm having with the kids, garnering a response like, "You think that's bad, you should try having two kids close in age." - As if it's some kind of competition. It's not a competition gals. We all have our difficulties when raising our kids and they are all different. But, as I write this, I guess what really bothers me is this: I really dislike it when people try to project their experiences on me. Unless you've had the same experience as me, don't try to tell me you know exactly how I feel. You can say you have a small idea of what I must be feeling, but don't try to tell you really and truly know how I feel. So I guess that's why I don't like it when moms of singletons try to tell me they know how I feel or their experience is harder or whatever. Like I've said, we all have our own version of hard and it really is hard for us. Who knows what it would be like for others, but it's hard for us. If you're sitting there thinking, "I don't know what's she's talking about... being a Mom is easier than anything, I never have a hard day, or get tired, stressed, or anything like that," don't even talk to me :) As incredibly rewarding as motherhood is (can't it just be great??), we all know that it is also challenging.

Off Soap Box:
Then there's the two of everything part of parenting twins. Like the mom in the blog, I do think in terms of two all of the time. When I talk to a pregnant mom about when her baby is due I sometimes catch myself talking, or at least thinking, about the baby in plural. "Baby" is just not a normal word in my vocabulary - it's babies. Do people actually only buy one car seat, crib, bouncy seat, and swing? I can't imagine having just two or three sippy cups - there aren't enough back-ups. You've got to have one for water, one for milk, and then at least one back-up; multiply that times two and you've got six sippy cups. I've heard of people who only have one bottle that they wash out after each feeding. One bottle??? I never would've had time to wash bottles after each feeding! I was lucky to get all of them in the dishwasher at the end of the day :) (BTW, I love that I can now talk about bottles in past-tense!)

Like the mom from the blog, I guess I just have a warped sense of reality :)