Opus 23 - Random Thoughts

I've had a lot of random thoughts lately and thought I should get them in writing... I've been thinking a lot about my pregnancy & NICU experiences...

When I was trying to get pregnant I would constantly (or it seemed it was constantly) hear other women complain about being pregnant. I just wanted to yell at them! I knew so many women, myself included, who would do anything to experience those discomforts! Random people I didn't even know would complain to me, hello! So when I was finally pregnant I made it a goal to not complain in front of others. Obviously, pregnancy is not comfortable (especially when you're carrying twins) so you have to express yourself to someone. I decided it would be best to discuss my discomfort with Mom, Shelly, and Jason. I hope I succeeded with my goal. I hope I didn't complain in front of others - especially those who are unable to have children. If I made a mistake and offended someone, I hope they'll forgive me.

I'm so grateful to the NICU staff for everything they did to help me and my babies. I can't even describe how wonderful they are. There are so many people who helped make our time at the NICU better. It was especially comforting to have two nurses there who are from Payson and who's children I taught (Thanks Debbie & Kristi!). How would we have survived without the amazing Annie Miller who taught us how to teach Lissa & Joshua to eat?! The daily calls with updates on the kids from Jenny Smoot were very much appreciated. And then there's Linda, with her picture taking (we have some great pictures from her) and rules (who could forget rule #3 - Don't pull your/or your sibling's cords??). I often wonder how Lissa & Joshua's "roommates" are doing - Tristan, Damian, and Matthew. I hope they are progressing and growing as well as my babies are. I look forward to seeing everyone again at the NICU reunion.

I look back at pictures of my babies and am amazed at how calm Jason & I were (have been). Our poor kids were so small and so attached to things! We were just so grateful that we finally had our babies that we were oblivious to how sad the situation really was. That certainly was a blessing. I remember us talking about how it was like we were just "playing" family. We would go to the NICU, change diapers, take temperatures, change the Sat monitor probe, hold, and feed our babies. Then we'd go home and things would be like they were before the babies came. It was a strange feeling. I'm so glad to have my babies home, even though they came with the cords still attached :)

I am so grateful to Dr. Gibson from the University of Utah Fertility Clinic. It was he who told us that our first doctor was wrong and that we could do in-vitro and probably would have success. Ironically, we never worked with him again after that first appointment (there's a staff of doctors that rotate from week to week), but I will always give him the credit for bringing us hope again. Thank you Dr. Gibson!

I can't believe I had 122 shots during the in-vitro process and my pregnancy. I hate needles. It was all worth it though. Even the daily shot with an inch and a half needle in my hip filled with thick liquid that seemed to take forever to get out was worth it.

I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for putting so many smart men and women on the earth and helping them discover and perfect all of the modern medical procedures that helped us get pregnant. I'm grateful to Him for sending us our little miracles.

As a final note, I love being a mother. Yes, there are hard days, I have five month old twins for goodness sake! But, I love it. This is so much easier than teaching junior high band! I'm sure that's partly because I love my children so much and am so grateful to have to opportunity to be their Mom.